You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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