His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
