I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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