What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize