So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
