Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The air taste purple.
Randomize
