i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
