I looked at my own cervix.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
