thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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