she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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