he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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