Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
