Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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