I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
