Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
