I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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