I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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