it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You made out with two different species that night
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
