I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
