It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My liver just had a heart attack.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
