the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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