I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
