idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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