i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
