There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
