I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
