I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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