i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
