i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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