I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
