Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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