and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
