My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
