Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
