I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i think im in europe. pls send help
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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