my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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