cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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