I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
