my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
