You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize
