I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
