There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
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