U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize