dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
