Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
