If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize