There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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