Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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