and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
