using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
