So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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