Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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