Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
