The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize