"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize