I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
